Flyleaf
by COMMA OF THOUGHT
Summary: Edward is a player. Bella has had a hard knock life and is the lead singer of the band Flyleaf. Put these two togather and you have a hell of a story! ALL HUMAN. T for now.
1. Odd & Good

Okay

**Okay. I saw Flyleaf 3 days ago and I now love them. I had to write a fanfic with the songs so I thought, "why not make the fanfic**_** about **_**Flyleaf?" **

**Declaimer: its all Meyer**

If you ever look up the word 'player' in the dictionary, you will find one name- Edward Anthony Mason.

As of right now I am watching him suck face from my secluded lunch table. Who is he sucking face with you ask? Lauren Malory. You can find her name under the word Whore.

Now see this wouldn't be a problem if I had not just him go into a supply closet with Jessica Stanly. But you see it is because Lauren thinks that she is his main squeeze, that it is so sad. Which stereo typically you would think so- she is the Cheer captain, and he is the football captain. But that's not how things are going down. Edward screws around like a rabbit. Sadly she is oblivious, not that I am surprised (she is as dumb as a fish). What is even sadder is that all the girls in the school know this, yet they still supply Mr. Masen with enough mono to throw out an African village. See that makes me sad to know that I am part of the female race and they are ruining all of our self respect.

You see I'm likely the only female who has not made out with Edward (including the teachers). Well actually I don't think that he has ever made out with his sister, Alice. I have never talked to her, but she seems nice, unlike most of the cheerleaders. And I don't think he has made out with his brother's girlfriend Rosalie. Emmet is his brother and also the star quarterback, but is faithful unlike his brother.

It's kind of freaky that I know all this. I am not some crazy gossiper. I just live in a tiny town called Forks (aka my personal hell) were everybody knows everything about everyone. And I hate that I know this.

This brings us to me, Bella Swan. I moved here when I was ten. It sucked for me. When you move to a small town were everybody has grown up together you are automatically a topic for gossip. In my case I was Police Chief Swan's long lost daughter. Here let me fill you in…..

My mom (Renee) had me when she was a teenager, and Charlie (my dad) left. My mom raised me with the exception of welfare until she got sick with breast cancer and died when I was eight. I loved her and it hit me hard to lose her. I was sent into the world of faster care. I went to family after family. If the family was loving, rich, and normal they thought I was a freak who showed no emotion. So I would get sent back for not being good enough. But most of the time I was sent to someone's family to be beaten and worked. This continued for two years. Two years that changed the rest of my life. Two years that I still have nightmares about.

They finally found Charlie who seemed shaken and ashamed to here about Renee. To my surprise he took me in. probably out of pity. We don't really have a relationship. Okay I admit that I am mad at him. Maybe if he would have stayed and supported Renee like he was supposed to we would have had the money to pay her doctor bills. She might still be around and I would have never been a foster child. But he seems to want me around….. I think?

So that's my life story. The one that no one knows about. That is unless you include my band. You see my only escape ever was a church down in La push, the only place I ever felt at home. That's were I met Jacob, Embry, Quil, Paul, and Jared. They are my best friends, and we all have 2 things in common-God and Music. So around 9th grade we put together a different kind of Christian band. called Flyleaf. We aren't all that corny and we are pretty bad ass.

When I am with my band I am the awesome and cool Bella. When I am at school I am the nerd that is in honors choir.

So here I sit, alone at a lunch table reading a book and observing other peoples social lives.

The bell and I grabbed my book and my tray and scurried from the cafeteria, but with my luck I scurried right into Edward Masen. Did I mention the pizza that was on my tray was now on his very expensive looking shirt? I was now sitting on my butt being laughed at.

"Watch where you're going klutz." He grumbled.

I not so gracefully pulled myself from the ground. Mumbling a quick apology and getting the hell out of there. That was not the first time Edward had been rude to me.

Unfortunately I had biology next which meant I had to sit next to Edward and do all the work on the labs. I don't know why he never puts forth any impute. I see his grades and I have a feeling that even though he is a dummy of a person, he is smart in the classroom.

Of course I was the first one in the room as usual. When you don't have a social life you don't linger in the halls. Edward of course is usually the last one in the class room. I pulled out my note book that contained all my music and began working on some lyrics that I had started last night.

So I was in class writing when all of a sudden my note book was not there any more. My head jerked up to meet the amused emerald eyes of Edward holding my life above his head.

"Give it back." I said through clenched teeth.

"Hmm I don't think I will." He said in a sickly happy tone.

I felt my tear dots tingle. I remember something just like this. Its like that man in that one home. He had found my poems and I was beaten. The flash backs began switching through my head. My breathing became difficult and my head began pounding.

"Edward! Give it back to her!" said the voice of Alice Masen.

He chuckled a couple of times and dropped it in my hands.

As soon as I had it I clutched it to my chest. I couldn't catch the single tear that rolled down my cheek. Edward didn't even notice because he was to busy flirting with Shelby Winder. Alice seemed to. Right when she was about to leave her stool the class was called into order. Luckily it was a movie so I would not have to socialize with Edward.

Finally the bell rang and being shook. I realized that I had fallen asleep and someone was trying to wake me up.

I immediately jerked up to see to gray eyes that belonged to Alice.

"Hey sleepy head! Are you awake?" I only nodded, a little surprised that she was talking to me.

"Well I better get to class. Oh and sorry about my brother, he can be a real jackass sometimes." She said.

"I've noticed" my hand shot to my mouth. Did I just say that out loud.

To my surprise she just laughed. "See ya around!" and then she skipped from the room.

I stood there for a moment trying to gather my thoughts.

This has been an odd day.

_Later_

My muscles relaxed as soon as I drove into La Push.

When I pulled in front of the tiny red house an avalanche of Native American boys busted from the House.

"Bella!" they all yelled in union.

I stepped from the car and strait into the arms of Paul. He picked me up and whirled me around.

"We did it! We did it! We totally did it!" he yelled.

"Did what?!" I questioned.

They all got a real excited look in there eyes. They all began talking at the same time and I only caught the words called, dreams, and the sentence- "I shit a brick."

"Hold up Hold up! I don't speak gibberish!" I yelled.

They all went silent. I was sitting on Paul's shoulders. Jacob decided to come forward with the news. He looked up with happy black eyes.

"We landed an addition." They were still silent, waiting for my reaction.

I was silent for a moment. I let it sink in while staring into space. Someone liked our music. A big goofy grin spread across my face. And that is when I exploded.

"Oh my Gosh! Are you fucking Kidding me!?" I screamed, laughing at the same time. We all laughed and jumped and they all tossed me around.

Today has been a good day.

**Sooooo? What do you think? The more you review the more my fingers want to type!**


	2. The Auditon

Ok yall. I can't get any songs or pictures on my profile right now because of my tool bar. So if you want to hear this song just go to you tube or projectplaylist and type in Red Sam.

EpV

I ran my hand through my hair in an attempt to get it to stay in place. I could feel the knots forming in my back with stress.

Why was it bothering me so bad? So she had got a little upset, so what? I had ignored her, but I could have sworn I saw a tear run down her cheek. But it was goody Isabella Swan. I wasn't surprised

I was walking from the locker rooms when I was intercepted by Alice.

"Edward! I'm going with work with Jasper today so don't wait up!" she yelled.

Jasper worked at a cool little place called The Gig. The place was packed with talent scouts and agents looking for the next best thing. They had about three bands a night and every body went there on Friday night.

"Are they having auditions for tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yes! You want to come with?" she asked.

I was about to agree when I saw Kara Mclawn wearing a painfully short skirt. That was just what I needed to get my mind off of Swan.

"Nah, I'll catch you later!" I answered.

She shook her head and walked off while I went on with my business.

Bpov

This was it. All I had to do was pray that I don't trip. I normally don't when I'm singing but still, there are a lot of wires on stage.

I took deep breaths thinking of what I was about to do. I was about to show the real Bella. I was about to do this not just for my self but for Renee.

I pulled of my black hoodie that I constantly wore. That was pretty much what I always wore; jeans, a belt, convers or vans, a band tee, and my hoodie. Plus I never took off my mother's necklace. I was now in my red tank, a black bolt belt, skinny jeans, and black convers. I quickly opened a tin can and picked my dangly guitar belly button ring and a small diamond stud for my nose. I pulled down my pony tail to reveal the red and blue streaks in my long mahogany hair. Looking in the mirror might just ruin my confidence, so I went to join the band.

We were up first. I was holding hands with Embry. He gave my hand one last squeeze.

"Umm… will Flyleaf please take the stage?" A voice said.

The guys went ahead of me so entered last. I walked up to the mike while everyone took positions. I was about to count off when I was interrupted by a familiar voice that was that of Alice Masen.

"Hey! We like to know are bands! Bella, tell us about Flyleaf." She chirped. Well that's just great, she recognized me. The guys were pleading for me to answer.

"Well, umm…. We all started playing guitar when we were ten and we were all in church choir since we were eleven. Then we made the band when we were 15. And I think that's it."

"And who writes the music?" that was the voice of Jasper Hail.

"Umm… I write the music and the lyrics." I said sheepishly.

They all wrote down a bunch of stuff and nodded for us to start.

"This is called Red Sam."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I stuck my hand behind my back and counted down three with my fingers.

_Here I stand_

_Empty hands_

_Whishing my wrists were bleeding_

_To stop the pain from the beatings_

_There you stood_

_Holding me_

_Waiting for me to notice you_

_But who are you?_

_You are you truth (you are the truth)_

_Out screaming these lies_

_You are the truth (you are the truth)_

_Saving my life_

_The warmth of your embrace_

_Melts my frostbitten spirit_

_You speak the truth and I hear it_

_The words are I love you_

_And I have to believe in you_

_But who are you?_

_You are the truth (you are the truth)_

_Out screaming these lies_

_You are the truth (you are the truth)_

_Saving my life_

_My hands are open_

_And you are filling them_

_Hands in the air_

_In the air, in the air, in the air_

_And I worship_

_I worship_

_I worship_

_I worship_

_You are the truth (you are the truth)_

_Out screaming these lies_

_You are the truth (you are the truth)_

_Saving my life_

I let my breathing return to normal as I stopped jumping. Then I opened my eyes to see smiling faces of the three judges.

**Now Review!**


	3. Tattoo Crazy!

"OMG

**Hey peeps. I will start updating faster on this as soon as I am through with **

**Alive and Scarred. Any who, I got the song from last chap and the out fit on my profile. I also have all the tattoos and her belly ring on there. Ok read.**

"OMG! I believe we have a new discovery!" Alice yelled, jumping off of Jasper's lap. All the other men nodded in agreement.

"You will be the 3rd and final band to play tomorrow night." Said a huge Italian man.

I felt my self being picked up and thrown around, kind of like volleyball.

"Do you have a manager?!" I could barely hear Alice over the booming voices of the boys. That question seemed to shut them up.

"Ummm…are we supposed to? Cause we totally could get one. Do we have to have it by tomorrow?..." I continued to ramble. I had no idea we had to have a manager, and I didn't want that to ruin things.

"Ha! Silly I'm your new manager! I will worry about your image!" she began jumping up and down and I sighed in relief.

What happened next kind of took me by surprise.

I mean, Alice was a cheerleader but still she proceeded to climb up Paul and pull me at the same time catching me.

"Come on we have to get your outfits!" she exclaimed. A look of purr horror came upon my face. "oh you have no choice!" she said in a scary voice. The boys looked at me with pity but did not bother to save me.

Sure it was weird to go shopping with a total stranger and have them pay for everything, but each time I would object she would tell me it was for the sake of the band.

Alice and I were walking along the board walk. She was paying for two hot dogs, while I put the many shopping bags down on a bench and looked around.

I noticed a tattoo stand. I had always wanted a tattoo, but the man that was sitting at the booth reading Rolling Stone looked like he was on something.

"Oh I see! What a great idea!" I jumped about 5ft in the air when Alice popped up. Her gaze was locked on the tattoo

"Oh, I don't know.. I was just looking-" "not any more your getting!" she pulled me over to the stand.

The guy that seemed to be sleeping in a high snapped his head up. He had jet black hair, piercing blue eyes, white skin, and an angular jaw. He was actually very handsome. And I liked his lip ring. He was wearing a black Senses Fall shirt that fit snuggly around his chest along with jeans and black vans.

He seemed to be starring at me to, but Alice interrupted us with a cough. I blushed of course.

"Bella here needs a tattoo!" she yelled. He ripped his gaze from her back to me.

"Dose she now? And what would you like Bella?" his voice was very deep and husky. Alice interrupted.

"Omg! Look at that bag stand! I'll be back in a minute!" Alice disappeared and I starred after her. The guy next to me chuckled.

"She's something." He said turning to me.

"ya- I cant believe she is I'm friends with Alice." I said it like it was something really weird and he seemed to understand. He seemed to understanding in general.

"Well Bella, I am Skyler. I will be your tattoo artist this evening." He joked. I chuckled as he took my hand and lead me to the dentist chair.

"where do you want this thing?" he asked.

"I have no idea where to get it or what to get I just know that I am supposed to get one." I said.

He rose an eyebrow. "You realize that did not help me do my job at all?" he asked looking up at me from getting everything set up. I laughed. He was pretty funny.

"Ok I guess my shoulder, and why not a tramp stamp." I sighed. He eyed me questioningly.

"Tramp Stamp?" he sounded amused as he wiped his hands down.

"That's what my friends call a tattoo on a girl's back. They think it's so hot that the girl is just asking for it. I bet they will shut up when I get one." I giggled.

He smiled and brought out a sketch pad.

"So what do you want this tramp stamp to be?" he laughed. Decided on a pretty back design he had already drawn and a blue fiery cross on my arm. He had just shone me the final design when I had an idea.

"How about a breast cancer ribbon?" He looked up at me with a furrowed brow.

"Okay, where should we put that?" he asked. I looked at the ocean sunset thinking of where to put it, when he interrupted me.

"How about on your breast?" he said it like it was pretty obvious. I blushed chrisom but nodded.

"Ok take that off." He said pointing to my hoodie. I reluctantly pulled off my hoodie, and looked back up at him. He seemed to be looking at me up and down. But it didn't bother me all that much.

He turned on the ink stick and I bit down on my lip with a worried look in my eyes. He Seemed to notice. He laughed and said, "It will be at okay, just a little uncomfortable. Look I've got tons." He reached his arms to show me all the art work. "And I've got more." He winked.

I blushed once again and began to turn over. "Did you do those all by your self?" I asked curiously.

"Yup" he said while turning on the ink stick. He applied it to my skin and it hurt a little so I decided to keep talking to distract myself.

"Oh well, your really good at it." I complemented. He seemed shocked.

"Really?" he asked, "really" I said causing him to smile.

"My dad always thought art was for woosys. Plus it's not like I'm on Miami Ink. No ones ever said that." He explained.

"Oh well I like them." I said. A conferrable silence passed as he worked on my back. I had gotten used to the needle.

"So Miss Bella, what's your story?" he asked as he took a picture of my back that he would show me later. He flipped me back over and began to wipe down my arm.

"My story?" I asked.

"Ya- were do you come from? What do you do? That kind of thing." He said.

I was taken off guard for a moment, but I figured this guy would never tell my life story.

"Umm… well my mom got pregnant with me when she was in high school. So you can guess what my dad did-" "left" he finished. I nodded. He looked up at me.

"Well keep going." He said going back to work on the cross.

"Well I was born I Forks. Not to far from here. Then when I was about 3 moths I moved to California for two years then to Phinoxe." I paused for a moment thinking of my life. "My mother got breast cancer when I was eight. We didn't have much money so she died that same year." I paused remembering her trying to explain. I didn't realize I was being so quiet.

"That sucks" he muttered. I got nervous,

"What? What did you mess up on?" I panicked. He laughed.

"Nothing I meant about your mom." He chuckled. I blushed and he looked at me.

"Keep going." He said turning and grabbing a bottle of blue ink. I took a deep breath and began again.

"They had no records of Charlie being my father, so I was a foster child for awhile. When I was ten they found Charlie and he felt bad about Renee and took me in. So I was sent to forks where I have lived ever since." I paused "But I hate it."

He looked up at me and before taking another life.

"Well your life is only about 100 times more interesting then mine." he said.

"Everyone's life is interesting. What's your story?" I asked

"I have to parents who make good money. I am an only child. I got everything I ever wanted." He said.

He took the pink ink gun and laughed when I blushed as he began on the ribbon. It was kind of awkward I mean the ribbon was on the exposed portion of the top of my boob! Weird conversing much?

"I think it sounds really interesting." I said honestly. "I also think your not telling the truth." I finished.

"Okay, okay, my father never loved me and my mom might have had a slight drinking problem… and I was always expected to be perfect…"

"Bella look at all these!" Alice came running over. She stopped when she saw what Skyler was doing. She giggled and looked at all the other tattoos.

"Gosh Bella! I thought a tattoo not ink station." She laughed. "Did you get one that said Flyleaf?" she asked.

"Flyleaf?" Skyler questioned.

"Oh! Its Bella's band! They are amazing! You better get tight with them before they are huge! Here…" she reached into her bag and pulled out a flyer for tomorrow night and handed it to him. Were the hell did those come from?! It hasn't even been 3 hours.

"I'll come check you out." Skyler said. I blushed. Smooth. I so had to punish Alice for this. Let the peer pressure begin….

"Hey Alice how about YOU get a tattoo." I said in a mocking voice. I looked at Skyler, speaking to him with my eyes." He caught my drift and smiled.

"Oh yeah…. You can NOT come to a tattoo stand and not get a tattoo it is so uncool…its not even funny." He did sound older, and pretty intimidating.

Alice bit her lip. She was clearly having a battle with herself.

"Or you could just sit back and watch the fun….tisk, tisk, tisk…" ok so I was being really ridiculous, but it would be awesome if she got one with me.

"Fine." She cracked.

She sat down next to me. "but you have to get another one with me….dang I don't even now what to get." She complained.

"Well your name is Alice right?" Skyler asked. "Yes." She answered.

"Well how about the Cheshire cat from Alice and Wonderland?" he suggested. **(An: I always loved that movie but I would get so confused I would cry..)**

"Omg! What a good idea!" It really was a good idea.

"Bella will get one that says Flyleaf." I didn't argue with her.

About 20 minutes and many dollars later we said are good byes. I had flyleaf written in black on the nape of my neck. She now had a Cheshire tattoo on her ankle and was awfully proud of herself. But I was clearly outnumbering her so we got matching angle wings.Don't mind the girl who just got 5 tattoos!

"Okay now to my house!" she announced as we hoped into her car.

Wait her house,ok that meant she lived there. No big deal.

So did Edward.

Big deal.

**Review!**


	4. Just now seeing?

Okay I no it's been awhile, but I really only updated because yall wouldn't shut up

**Okay I no it's been awhile, but I really only updated because yall wouldn't shut up. I am trying to finish my first story so that's why I haven't really been working on this one or A Testing of Faith. So hold your horses because the updates are not going to be coming very fast until I finish Alive and Scarred. So I wrote yall this little number and you better enjoy it. Reviews help your situation people.**

Holy shit! Holy lama! Holy goat! This house was huge!

Alice seemed amused by my expression. She grabbed my hand and toed me to towards the stairs. Well, she was strong and demanding.

"Jeez Alice, don't you want to buy me dinner first." I teased. I said it right as we passed an arch way, and heard a booming laugh that caused me to jump in the air. Alice was scowling at someone behind me so curiously I slowly turned.

The laugh belonged to Emmet who was sitting in the booth with his girlfriend on his lap. Rosalie was trying not to laugh at my comment. And their on the counter was Edward, who was only smirking slightly.

Kill me now.

He wore a tight green shirt form Hollister that made his dreamy eyes pop. His bronze hair was more messy then usual, but that wasn't a bad thing. I hated how my teenage hormones forced me to analyze him more than the others. I hated that I was looking at that ass hole.

"Hey guys!" Alice greeted.

"Hey Alice." Rosalie chuckled "Hey Bella! Get anything sexy!" I was so surprised that she was even talking to me that it took me off guard when she ran for the Victoria Secret bag that I had drooped.

My eyes were wide and I was blushing so bad I started thinking of Rudolf the red nosed rain dear.

She was fast but not fast enough. I quickly jumped in front of her.

"Okay well, we will see later." She smirked.

"Oh come on. We all know that Swan is a nun." I wanted to glare at Edward, but I didn't really have the guts to.

"Well I don't know man; they say it's always the quiet ones." Emmet mused. Edward raised a brow. And of course my blush intensified.

"Well a nun could never convince a strong willed Alice to get a tattoo." Alice announced.

"WHAT!" they all yelled in union.

Alice giggled and hopped on the island opposite of the counter were Edward sat. She lifted up her pant leg and showed off her Cheshire tattoo.

"Oh I get it! Like Alice and Wonderland!" Emmet laughed. "Well Bella, I give you props."

"And I got another one but I'm not wearing a tank or anything, so I can't show my other one." She paused "Bella why don't you show them."

They all turned to me. I had no idea what to do. She wanted me to take off my hoodie and show these people my body? Didn't she understand that it was different then getting on stage or getting a tattoo?

They all expected me to do this. I felt pressured and wondered if this was how Alice felt earlier. I felt kind of guilty now.

"You have a tattoo Bella?" Rosalie asked in disbelief.

Before I could answer the silence was broken with a velvety laugh. We all turned to Edward who was on the ground holding his sides.

"In…. what...world ….do we…. live in…. were Swan…. gets…. a... tattoo!?" He said between laughs.

My blood was boiling and it wasn't because I was blushing. The anger brought on a jolt confidence.

I grabbed the bottom of my hoodie and jerked it off throwing it on the floor. I turned around quickly to show the gosh damned tattoos that Alice thought everyone had to see. I kept my wrists by my sides so that they saw no traces of my past.

The laughing stopped abruptly witch made me feel slightly smug. I turned over my right shoulder so they could see the cross tattoo on my arm and finally to the front were my breast cancer tattoo was. But I didn't really want them staring at my boob.

Rosalie had her mouth dropped. Alice looked satisfied. Emmet was smirking and looking at Edward, who wore an expression I couldn't quite dissect.

"Daaammmnn." Rosalie exaggerated "Your HOT Bella! Those are so cool. I never would have thought!" she exclaimed.

My moment of confidence was over and I blushed. God how I hated that. I reached for my hoodie and quickly threw it back on while the others were listening to Rosalie. Once I was focused again, I noticed that Alice was looking at me strangely.

"I feel so plain. I HAVE to get one!" She pronounced. A huge plastered across Emmet's face.

All I was thinking of was how on earth she could think she was plain. She was tall, had blond flowing locks, striking blue eyes, tanned skin, and a body to die for. If she was plane then I was ugly

Before anyone could say anything more the front door slammed. Jasper Hale walked in with someone behind him. Alice ran to him and as he inspected the tattoos I noticed who was with him.

"Jake!" I exclaimed. I was always overjoyed to see any of the guys. They were my only true family.

I ran to him and jumped into his arms. He spun me around once and then set me back on to the ground then finally breaking the embrace. You would think we haven't seen each other in years.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Well Jasper wanted to go over some things. Witch reminds me, we really have some work to do tonight." He said.

I turned to the others. The only person whose expression I noticed was Edwards. He seemed to be angry, jack ass.

"Who is this?" Emmet asked.

"Oh! This is Jake! Jake this is Rosalie, Emmet, and Edward." I said pointing to them.

"Call me Rose." Rosalie said. Ok Rose.

"So what's going on tomorrow?" Emmet asked curiously.

Before Jake could say anything- witch I new he wanted to because his face lit up when he asked- Edward jumped off the counter and stormed out of the kitchen.

Wonder what got his panties in a bunch.

EpV

Why was I so pissed? I had never had this emotion before, but I just new I had to get out of there.

I slammed my door angrily once I was inside my room.

What the hell was going on with me? I turned on some Debussy to calm my self.

I plopped down in my photon and began to think. My mom had always said that I think too much but I couldn't help it at the moment.

Was I jealous? No it couldn't be…

Isabella Marie Swan. I new her full name just never had enough respect to think or say it.

I might have noticed her in 7th grade. It was only because she sat next to me in English and she seemed to know everything. She never talked to anyone so I never thought she wanted to be talked to.

Plus her eyes, and the depth and beauty of them, it was hard not to notice. But I new that something was wrong because I was so concentrated on her every move in that one class. I would just stare at her and wonder what happened. What happened to make her so…so…broken?

But those days were long gone. That was before I really even discovered the true meaning of girls. Before I new the effect I had on them and what I could do with them. Before I new my potential.

And so that effect that I had didn't seem to work on Bella. And so that made her a freak. Why wasn't she like the other girls?

I just started thinking of her as a loser. She NEVER showed her body because of that ugly hoddie she lived in. So I automatically thought she didn't have one. Witch was proved wrong tonight. I saw the tattoos and I was proved wrong once again. She was NOT boring.

Was I just now really seeing her?

She DID have a body. And a good one at that with curves, flatness, and fullness.

A slight moan surprisingly escaped my mouth just thinking about it.

My eyes shot open. That had never happened to me. What was going on? This girl was corrupting me.

I normally didn't feel this way till about 20 minutes into a make out session.

I wonder what a make out session with Bella would be like. If I could get her out of that hoodie…

I closed my eyes and began to think about all the things….

A tingling feeling went threw my limbs and shot to my groin.

**(AN: ok I just think the fact that Debussy is playing all through the situation in his room makes this funny. Just my opinion. )**

OH MY GOD!

I looked down and was horrified at the seen. I…I! Edward Anthony Mason had a boner!

Not that I had never had one, but I was normally with a girl when I did.

This was all Bella's fault! Wait no! It couldn't be, it was _Swan_!

Oh but it was. The way she through down her hoodie in anger, it was well…. hot.

I wanted to see if she had any tattoos people couldn't see.

AAHHHHH! Don't think things like that old boy! I only got harder, painfully so.

And I looked so freaking pathetic right now I wanted to shoot myself.

I unbuttoned my pants so it was not so strained. I jumped up and began to pace. I remembered when I was twelve and I would get them for no reason at all. What was it my dad would say? Think about Jesus.

Okay… ummm… he died on the cross for our sins…

Damnit this wasn't working, its just making me feel dirty and ashamed that it's not working.

What was it the school nurse would say? Say the pledge of elegance. I doubted that would work; I was still young it didn't go away that easily. Well it was worth a try. I put my hand over my heart and looked at a Three Days Grace poster that had an American flag in the background.

"I pledge allegiance to, to the flag of the United States Of America. And to the republic for witch…" I looked down to see if I was making any progress. Nope.

Ok think, think, think….BRAIN BLAST! Cold shower.

I ran to the bathroom and stripped myself turning on the water. It looked kind of scary to me, it was getting to be quite prominent. The erg to touch it was high but I had too much pride. This better work.

The cold water pierced my skin. Ahhh, the shower. I looked down and saw that it was beginning to go away.

The shower was nice. I wonder if Bella would take shower hear. I wonder about Bella in the shower…

STUPID, STUPID, STUPID! Uncle Woody is back for another visit!

I groaned and turned off the water.

This was terrible. I felt like crying it hurt so badly.

If this was what Bella could do to me just thinking about her, imagine what it would be like to actually be with her.

Damnit, don't think that! It got bigger.

I grabbed a towel and ran for my closet. I through on a pair of sweats, hissing once they were being pulled up. I grabbed my lettermen's jacket and tied it backwards around my waist so that no one would see me if they were down stairs. I grabbed some shoes not really knowing if they matched or not. I wasn't paying attention to that.

I grabbed my keys and peeked down the hall way. The only other room on this floor was my dads study witch seemed to be clear. As usual.

I started down the stairs. All the lights were off. I didn't realize how late it was. Had I really been in my room that long? But I'm sure if I woke Lauren up now she wouldn't be mad for to long; I guess that was guarantied do to the situation. She was pretty damn easy.

I stepped on to the second story were the play room was. Alice was sprawled on the floor over a sleeping bag. Rose was rapped in a quilt on the couch and last but not least there was Bella. She had fallen asleep with her head on the air hockey table. **(AN: Ha. I have done that)**

Note book paper was scattered around her, but I didn't really pay attention to that.

She wore a dark blue silk nighty. She had probably bought it with Alice today. I loved my sister.

The feeling intensified in the danger zone. Oh she was going to be the death of me.

Okay I could muster up enough control to go and put her on the other couch. I didn't want her to wake up with the consequential feeling of sleeping on an air hockey table.

Wait, why did I care? Whatever

I clasped my eyes shut and swooped her up easily. I opened my eyes to see if she had awoken, but she was still fast asleep. And she looked so peaceful. No sign of trouble in her life. And the way she felt. She was so warm….

I quickly put her down. I couldn't feel her anymore or I would do something. What I didn't know.

I ran from the room, but not before turning for one last look. Damn she looked sexy, and she wasn't even trying. Imagine if she did try. That nun comment from earlier was so in vain.

The situation down there only grew.

I moaned and stuck my fist in my mouth, trying to quiet the sound.

I bolted down the stairs. Think of something you idiot.

"Dead puppy, drowned bunny, dead puppy!"

Elizabeth Mason's (Edward's human mom) pov

I was in the kitchen putting away the milk I had just poured.

I still waited up for Edward Sr. Why wasn't he home? Surly his job wouldn't keep him this late. It was almost one.

"Dead puppy, drowned bunny, dead puppy!"

"Edward?" I called. What in the world was he talking about?

He stopped abruptly. He had wet hair, no shirt, a lettermen's jacket tied around his waist and one white shoe and one black shoe. To top it all off he was jogging in place as he turned to me, with his fist in his mouth.

"Edward, what on gods green earth are you wearing?" Was he on drugs?

"Uhhhh… it's the new style." He squeaked out. These kids were doing some crazy stuff these days.

"Well were are you going at" I glanced at the clock "1:02 in the morning?" I interrogated.

"Ummm… I was going to umm… I'm going to go take out the trash! Yeah I was going to take out the trash." He took off on a run and out the front door.

"Don't you want the trash?!" I yelled. Aww whatever.

I would just by a drug test tomorrow. He was seventeen he could take care of himself.

For now I had to worry about my husband.

Epv

My mom probably thought I was on crack.

I was seventeen. I was practically a man and here I was stooping so low as to do this. I was going to break up with Lauren tomorrow. She was too clingy. Well she was good for one last ride. But still... For once, I felt so weak.

I turned on the stereo and let the car fill with music. Maybe I should focus on this rather then what I'm about to do.

Girls Do What They Want by The Maine came on and I cranked it to the highest level. **(AN: it helps to listen while you read.)**

S

She's 18 and a beauty queen

She makes the boys feel so weak

It's all for her, not at all

She'll pick you up just to watch you fall

It's her hands on my hips, I can't escape em'

It's that mouth on those lips, try not to chase them

That's just the way things are

And the way they'll always be

Girls do what they want

Whoa Whoa

Boys do what they can

Whoa Whoa

Girls do what they want

Whoa Whoa

Boys do what they can

She's 18 and a beauty queen

She's figured out all the boys like me

Head to toe you know she's dressed to kill

And she could the way she's looking at me

It's that face and those eyes, I can't escape them

It's that mouth and those lies, try not to chase down

That's just the way things are

And the way they'll always be

Girls do what they want

Whoa Whoa

Boys do what they can

Girls do what they want

Whoa Whoa

Boys do what they can

That's just the way, just the way, just the way things

Because the boys are feeling jealousy

And it doesn't make any sense

Go on and tell them

All the girls are in the fellas

And it's all for them to decide in the end

And you know that all the,

Boys are falling in love

The girls don't know what's up

We think we've all had enough of this now

These kids are talking about love

We think we've had enough

We've had enough of this now

Girls do what they want

Whoa Whoa

Boys do what they can

Girls do what they want

Whoa Whoa

Boys do what they can

Girls do what they want

Whoa Whoa

Boys do what they can

Girls do what they want

Whoa Whoa

Boys do what they can

That was the first time I ever really thought I could relate to the song. I was now sitting in my Volvo outside of Lauren's house. I looked down and guess what? It was gone. I

I sighed and started the car back up. If I new it would take a song and a 5 minute drive to fix this I would have done it a long time ago.

One thing was for sure; if I was going to half to start treating Swan- I mean Bella differently.

**review!**


	5. I'm So Sick

Thank god I had not fallen asleep on that air Hockey table

**Ok I am only updating because I will be out for a while. Yall need to stop telling me to update soon because I want to finish Alive and Scarred really bad. But I will update this because I already had it half way done. Reviews do help your situation. Anywho, all songs and outfits and stuff from this chapter are on my profile. So check it out.**

Thank god I had not fallen asleep on that air Hockey table! I woke up at about 8 this morning and went to Jakes house; skipping school.

Jasper had told us that they wanted more songs with screaming. So here I sat in Jakes room with a guitar trying to finish a song.

"mmm…. I will break…. Will break…. That's it!" I strummed the cords on the guitar, and wrote it down for the boys. Okay what words were next? I looked down at my notebook.

_Into a thought, with what's rotten on my heart_

Hmmm… yes that's a good place for a scream.

_I'm so.._

** Boys! Grab your guns**

** It's all in good fun**

**We're making 'em run**

** Making 'em run**

The tiny room filled with Boys! Grab your guns by My American Heart. I quickly answered my phone.

"Hello?"

"Bella!" Alice exclaimed, making me cringe away from the phone for the sake of my hearing.

"Its lunch, have you finished the song?" she asked.

"Ummm… I'm working on it right now."

"Well hurry! The whole school is talking about tonight! Of course I told them all about you!" was that supposed to help me?

"Really, thanks." I said lamely "I have to go if I want to finish this song."

"Okie Dokie! I will be over as soon as school ends!" She yelled and hung up.

Joy.

BXEBXEBXEBXEBXEBXEBXEBXEBXEBXEBXEBXEBXEBXEBXEBXEBXEBXE

"Hold still Bella! You're ramming me into the sink! Gosh Jake, why can't you have a bigger bathroom." Alice asked rudely.

Jake just laughed and shook his head. It was beginning to feel crowded. All the huge boys were sprawled out around the Jakes room, looking in the bathroom as I sat on the toilet getting my makeup done.

"Okay! Door is closing!" Alice yelled, slamming the door in their faces.

"Are you ready to see your dress?" Alice squealed. I wanted to laugh. Me? Wear a dress? But then I looked at her little pixie face. I would be evil if I didn't humor her.

"Sure Alice, lay it out." I said as enthusiastically as I could.

She turned and grabbed the dress bag, unzipping it slowly. I saw the fabric and found that I was getting oddly excited. The fabric was gray and laired with what seemed like paint splatters.

How ever my excitement didn't last long. As soon as she fully unzipped it I saw how short it was. It would barely cover my butt!

"Alice! No way! I am not a stripper!" I screamed.

She looked hurt, but I couldn't say that I cared. Was she kidding?

"Oh Please? I will let you were those black All Stars! Pwweeaasss." Ok I was a gonner. Look at that face. She had her glossed lip jutted out, her big gray eyes sparkled as if she was going to cry, and her black spiky hair tussled, making her look innocent. Witch I new she wasn't. Evil little pixie.

"Fine!" I said defeated.

"YAY! I will go get the guys cloths! I went to CC Creations yesterday and got you a little present!" She skipped from the bathroom.

I sighed heavily and slipped on the dress. I turned to examine my body.

Its not that my body looked bad, I just felt exposed. I turned to look at my back. My angel wings did look cool. I guess I could give this a shot. Plus the dress did look cute in my opinion. I don't think Alice would ever wear it though, it wasn't her style. **(Dress on Profile.)**

My eyes were Very dark with sparkles. I suppose since I was going on stage it wouldn't matter. My lips were cherry read and shiny. I had no blush; god knows I didn't need it.

Maybe if I did a good enough job, it wouldn't matter how I looked. I hated being a girl sometimes.

"Oh you look so hot!" Alice screamed running toward me. The guys mumbled in agreement and I blushed.

"Now for your hair!" she shoved me back down on the toilet.

I sat back and let the torture continue, that is until I felt scissors.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! What are you doing?!" I screamed, jumping up.

"I am just going to style it a little bit! I won't cut off the length! Just trust me!" She defended.

I sat down slowly, not taking my eyes off the scissors.

She finally finished my hair, but wouldn't let me see it. She proceeded to let Paul and Sam paint my nails black.

She put numerous earrings in my ears and allowed me to wear my normal stud for my nose.

And of course I still wore my mother's necklace, only added a peace sign necklace. **(Necklaces on profile.)**

I slipped on my lucky black All Stars.

Finally I was finished.

I looked in the mirror and gasped.

My hair was still long, but it was straiter and seemed to have a chopped look. I had to admit it looked cute, plus I could always go back to my old style in a matter of minutes. My blue and red streaks seemed to pop a little more against my brown hair. (hair cut on profile)

This girl in the mirror was stylish. This girl in the mirror was…. Sexy?

"Dammmnnnn Bella!" the guys said. I had to laugh.

Alice walked in with a box and plopped it down on the bed.

"Alright Flyleaf, say hello to your first band tee." She ripped the lid from the box.

We all gasped.

They were black with white cursive and the figure of a stiletto of what I am guessing is a girl in front of a moon.

These.were.Amazing! **(Shirt on profile. I have this shirt, hehe.)**

"Holy Shit!" The boys said in union, all running to claim there shirt. Alice slapped their hands and made them line up to get one.

She was a saint.

EpV

"So Eddie, like who is playing?! Tanya asked for the billionth time.

"For the last time Tanya, No body knows. It's a surprise. It has been for the past two bands." I said exasperated.

The bands were good enough to get in here but nothing that would get to big. We had one more band, and it happened to be Bella's. I just doted it would be any good. I mean it was hot, but a chick? Come on. Not that it made her any less hot. It was still weird to think that.

"A surprise? For me? You shouldn't have!" she squealed.

"I didn't." I muttered under my breath. This girl was just plain dumb. Maybe her batteries were running low.

"Edward!" I saw Alice trying to break through the crowd. I decided to meet her half way to save her from the trouble, and maybe save my self from Tanya. Gosh you make out with a girl 5 times and they think you're together.

"Flyleaf is about to be up!" Rose said, popping up next to Alice. Emmet was suddenly at my ear screaming.

We all turned are attention to the stage and heard the man speak.

"All right guys, you have had a nice time right?!" The guy yelled.

The crowd erupted into applause. All the teenagers and drunks that were having way to much fun, screamed the names of their favorite band so far.

"Well I don't know about you fellas, but I want to see some chickage!" Everyone erupted and I decided to join in on the fun.

"This next band has just that… a chick! This band has been together for 6 years and have a christen influence. Give it up for Flyleaf!" a christen influence huh?

The lights dimmed and an angle stepped into the light, and I heard the most beautiful voice in the world.

BpV

Relax and just let yourself go.

I was moving my body but not really paying attention to what I was doing. I was just trying to dig into my lyrics, just block out the audience and the judgment.

**(It helps to listen while you read!)**

_I will break into your thoughts  
With what's written on my heart  
I will break, break_

I took a deep breath and let all my anger comes out in two screams.

_I'm so sick,  
Infected with where I live  
Let me live without this  
Empty bliss,  
Selfishness  
I'm so sick  
I'm so sick_

If you want more of this  
We can push out, sell out, die out  
So you'll shut up  
And stay sleeping  
With my screaming in your itching ears

I'm so sick,  
Infected with where I live  
Let me live without this  
Empty bliss,  
Selfishness  
I'm so sick  
I'm so sick

Hear it, I'm screaming it  
You're heeding to it now

Hear it! I'm screaming it!  
You tremble at this sound

You sink into my clothes  
And this invasion  
Makes me feel  
Worthless, hopeless, sick

I'm so sick,  
Infected with where I live  
Let me live without this  
Empty bliss,  
Selfishness  
I'm so sick  
I'm so sick

I'm so sick  
Infected with where I live  
Let me live without this  
Empty bliss, selfishness  
I'm so  
I'm so sick  
I'm so  
I'm so sick

**(song on profile)**

**REVIEW!**


	6. Perform

Hey Y'all

**Hey Y'all! This is one of my rare updates! Just to warn you, If you are a little bit confused by some of the things I have said or implied in the story, don't worry because it will all clear up. I am basing Bella's life on Lacey's a little bit. Okay so the songs for this chapter on my profile. The second song that Bella sings is not originally a Flyleaf song. It is Nine Inch Nails, but Flyleaf has a cover for it (on profile) and I liked it a lot. So in the story Bella wrote it so don't be confused. I didn't really try hard because I am not supposed to be awake right now and I am rushing really badly. So forgive me if I mess up in grammar and what not. Oh! I suggest you listen to the songs as you read! Makes it better. **

**I know I don't update a lot, but don't expect fast updates until I finish my first story. But reviews and people helped me right this chapter (I wasn't going to update for a while.) So reviews would be an awesome thing….**

The adrenaline was pumping through my veins at full force. Every scream, every chorus… I felt it all. I had quit the drugs I had done when I was 13, but right now I felt high (even though there was nothing in my system… but music.)

And here I was; the girl who got uneasy when anybody looked in her direction. I was singing in front of a packed audience. People sat in balconies, some standing on the bars. They had not done this for the first two bands. And for the first time in my life; I felt confident.

We had finished our first song and now I was going to start on Cassie. The first song did not have much faith in it, but this one did. I should probably feel nervous about that but I wasn't. I just couldn't wait to start singing again.

I looked out into the crowd and immediately saw Emmet's big arm whooping through the air. Alice had climbed onto Jasper's shoulders and was beginning to shout; "Flyleaf! Flyleaf! Flyleaf!" and it went on and on until the whole crowd was chanting.

I stood there, probably looking like an idiot. But I just didn't care.

That's when I saw him. He wasn't chanting or screaming or climbing on people. He was just looking at me. My high got stronger and for some reason I got bitter. I swiftly turned my head to look at Jake.

He had a huge grin on his face which he was trying to cover up. His eyes seemed to be pleading; but for what?

"Bella! The next song!" right! I was looking at the crowd like they were aliens. Shit.

"Alright guys…" as soon as my voice came on the mike, the crowd seemed to yell even louder "I wrote this song for Cassie Bernall and Rachel Joy Scott… ummm…. I read the book about the whole ordeal, and it just really got me thinking. So I hope you like this, it's called Cassie." The crowd had quieted a little for my speech, but now it was erupting once again.

And so I sang.

_The question asked in order  
To save her life or take it  
The answer no to avoid death  
The answer yes would make it  
Make it_

Do you believe in God  
Written on the bullet  
Say yes to pull the trigger  
Do you believe in God  
Written on the bullet  
And Cassie pulled the trigger

All heads are bowed in silence  
To remember her last sentence  
She answered him knowing what would happen  
Her last words still hanging in the air  
In the air

Do you believe in God  
Written on the bullet  
Say yes to pull the trigger  
Do you believe in God  
Written on the bullet  
And Rachel pulled the trigger

How many will die  
I will die  
I, I will say yes

Do you believe in God  
Written on the bullet  
Say yes to pull the trigger  
Do you believe in God  
Written on the bullet  
And Cassie pulled the trigger

(Do you believe)  
Do you believe in God (Do you believe)  
Do you believe in God (Do you believe)  
Do you believe in God  
And I will pull the trigger

Absolutely wonderful. Everything was working out. Everything was good. And the crowd loved me.

_ME…._

I wish they could see me now. All the families who thought I wasn't good enough, all the family's that sent me back. That family….

And suddenly the most important person came to mind.

If only she could see me now. Would she be proud, or maybe even surprised that I got somewhere? Why did I always have to think about her? No matter where I was… she was there. She was my mom though… And suddenly the perfect song came to mind.

I was going to turn around and enounce to the guys what song we were to do next.

But it was kind of like the situation with Edward. He was one of the only ones in the audience not acting like a crazed fan or something.

Charlie.

He stood by the exit door with his hands in his pocket, looking extremely awkward. He was eyeing some kids who didn't look like they should be drinking, and I wondered why he didn't do his job and stop them. Then I realized…. He wasn't in uniform. He wore a simple striped polo and trousers.

Had he come to see me? Did he care? He never had before, just paid for the guitar lessons and drove me to La push. He had come to support me? This was a first…

I automatically took a couple of steps to the end of the stage to get a better look. With each step I took the 'clunk' sound of my shoes were replaced by cheers. People cheered for every step I took?

He snapped his head toward the eruptions and our matching eyes met.

They had a twinkle that I had just now noticed, only came into his eyes when he saw me. And that fatherly half smile appears on his face; containing pride. My tear dots quivered, and I'm not sure why.

_Fatherly…_

I had never thought of calling him anything other then Charlie. But for the first time in my life I felt the need to call him "Dad."

He tilted his head to the side. Had I said that out loud?

His half smile turned into a full smile and he waved at me. I lifted my hand a little, but was interrupted by something interesting.

The guy was clearly drunk and maybe even on speed. His shirt was tied around his head and he was barefoot with a smile face painted across his stomach.

He ran right up to Charlie and hugged him. Charlie, being a police officer, probably should have acted like he was being attacked. But even though he was a police officer… he was also Charlie. So he stood there with wide eyes.

The guy stood on top of the bar.

"Hey Guys! Everyone think this guy! He made that!" He pointed to me and everybody was cheering.

I was blushing bright red and I could here the boys booming laugh behind me. Charlie looked flustered and turned his head to look at me. He seemed to just now realize what I was wearing.

I quickly turned around and back to the band. I still had too much on my mind. I went from mother to father in my brain, and for me that was too much.

And this set my mind back on the song. I told the boys and they began to prepare.

I wasn't going to tell them why I wrote this song or what I wrote it for. Especially when my dad was in the crowd, not to mention… Edward. Who has surely been judging me the whole night?

Edward's name should not have come into my mind at the lyrics of this song; it was for my mother. But it was lodged in my head with piercing green eyes. And I would do anything to get them out. Singing should do it.

I stuck my fingers behind my back and counted them down by four.

Jake began to play the opening cords and the guys joined in. I closed my eyes and let the sounds ring in my ears, trying desperately to knock the thoughts out. My vocal cords trembled as they recognized my time to sing. I took a deep breath….

_I still recall the taste of your tears  
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears  
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore  
Scraping through my head til i don't want to sleep anymore_

You make this all go away  
You make this all go away  
I just want something  
I just want something i can never have

You were always the one to show me how  
Back then i couldn't do the things  
that i can do now  
This thing is slowly taking me apart  
Grey would be the color if i had a heart

Come on tell me

You make this all go away  
You make this all go away  
I'm down to just one thing  
And i'm starting to scare myself  
You make this all go away  
You make this all go away  
I just want something i just want something i can never have

In this place it seems like such a shame  
Though it all looks different now,  
I know it's still the same  
Everywhere i look you're all i see  
Just a fading reminder of who i used to be

Come on tell me

You make this all go away  
You make this all go away  
I'm down to just one thing  
And i'm starting to scare myself  
You make this all go away  
You make this all go away  
I just want something  
I just want something i can never have

I just want something i can never have

I stood there, looking at the microphone and listening to the screams that I had blocked out. I turned back to Dad who was looking at me intently; much like the boy next to him.


End file.
